Calvin at Camp: Toy Story
by Blue Paratroopa
Summary: Snoopy writes a version of Toy Story, using the kids at camp. Hobbes was always Calvin's favorite toy, but when he gets a Mario action figure, has the tiger been replaced?
1. Calvin's Birthday

Back when I was writing "Hercules," I had an annonymous reviewer request I do a parody of Toy Story. I didn't give it too much thought, but then I started playing out little scenes in my mind, and I realized that this was a good idea! Annonymous reviewer, this one's for you!

* * *

One morning at camp, Snoopy sat at his typewriter, attempting to write something good. He always knew he had a knack for this kind of stuff...but no one else did. "It was a dark and stormy night! No...I've already sent that one in...and it didn't go over very well with the publishers...I know! Pixar! I'm sure I can write a good story by ripping that off!" Snoopy glanced at Calvin playing with Hobbes and was struck by inspiration. He began to type madly.

In Snoopy's story, Calvin sat in his room playing with a toy car. "Here comes Mr. Jones out of his attractive suburban home," Calvin narrated. "He hops in his red sports car. Off he goes to work. He takes a wrong path down the Cul-De-Sac...AAAHHH! It's a giant tiger!" Calvin threw a stuffed Hobbes at the car. "Mr. Jones drives away in a frantic terror! Hobbes tracks him down, going in for the kill! Is this the end of Mr. Jones? He tries to lose the tiger by driving...OVER THE GRAND CANYON! Realizing too late what he's done, Mr. Jones prays that he doesn't crash into the rocks below...and he doesn't. HOBBES IS WAITING THERE AND EATS HIM FIRST!"

Calvin laughed and tossed Hobbes around. "I love this game! Good job, Hobbes! I wonder what will happen to Mr. Jones tomorrow!"

Calvin left the room. Hobbes and all the other toys came alive, as they had always done whenever there were no people around. Hobbes walked over to a plastic Nazz doll. "The Grand Canyon? He's never used that before. I tell you, Nazz, he's getting more creative."

"And kinda creepy."

Hobbes smiled. "Well, Calvin's like that and I love it!"

Hobbes passed a piggy bank version of Edd and a Mr. Potato Head Eddy. Eddy had rearranged his face.

"Morning, guys," said Hobbes.

"Good day, Hobbes," waved Edd.

Eddy proudly pointed at his scrambled features. "Hey, check it out, Double D! I'm Picasso!"

Edd walked away. "Very funny. It's a miracle you can pronounce that."

"Yeah, yeah, ya critic..." Eddy paused and ran after Edd. "Who was Picasso, anyway?"

A slinky dog version of Snoopy crawled out from under the bed and greeted Hobbes. "Hey, Hobbes...will you look at me! Next time I write myself into a story, I'm getting some chiropractic help! Want to play that game you guys invented...Calvinball?"

"Not now, Snoopy. Call all the toys for a meeting."

"Right away!" Snoopy scurried away.

Hobbes walked into a corner for some privacy to plan on what to say. "Now, let's see..."

A monster version Ed jumped out. "ROAR! I will devour you!"

"Hi, Ed."

"Did I scare you?" Ed smiled.

"Would you be crushed if I said no?"

Ed bounced away, not understanding Hobbes. "Yay! I scared him!"

The other toys gathered round as Hobbes stood up on a little podium. "Alright, everyone," he said. "Now, we all know that the big move is soon. We're leaving this house for good, going at least five streets away. That means that no toys can be left behind! Everyone has to find a moving buddy."

Ed turned hopefully to his friend. "Eddy?"

"NO."

"Also," Hobbes said quickly, "today is Calvin's birthday party. In other news, we all need to thank---"

"Birthday!" interrupted Schroder. "But his birthday is on the sixteenth! Like Beethoven's!"

Hobbes shrugged, wanting to ignore the whole thing. "Well, his mother decided it was better to have the party before the move. There's no need to panic."

The toys panicked.

"Presents!" cried Snoopy.

"New toys!" moaned Charlie Brown.

"Replacement!" shrieked Sally.

Ed began to bang his head against a bedpost. "Birthday party bad for Ed! New toys! Better monster toys will come! I am scary!"

Edd attempted to calm everyone down. "Please, Hobbes is right. We're not going to be replaced."

"Look who's talking, ya plastic piggy bank!" yelled Eddy, shaking Edd's large head. "Why'd he need two of you?"

Hobbes waved his arms. "People! People! We all need to calm down! "

"Yeah, you're not worried!" shot Eddy. "You're Calvin's favorite!"

"PLEASE!" Hobbes yelled, finally getting everyone's attention. "Now, I knew this would happen, so I had a few of our good friends come up with a clever idea."

Green army men versions of Jason and Marcus popped out. "The Green Army Nerds are ready and awaiting orders!" saluted Jason.

"Is it time to start our mission?" asked Marcus.

"Almost," said Hobbes. "We need to get the equipment and check to see if the coast is clear."

Charlie Brown and Snoopy pulled out a pair of baby monitors from the closet.

"It's a good thing we found these," said Hobbes.

Marcus ran in from the hallway. "We checked; the coast is clear!"

Eddy rolled his eyes skeptically. "And how are they gonna move all this stuff out?"

A heard of green army Quincy's popped out as well. "Here we go!"" cried Jason. The iguanas lined up on a sleigh and pulled Jason and Marcus into the hall towing the monitor behind them. However, the lizards kept swerving.

"Be sure to train those things!" called Hobbes.

"Hey, they're iguanas, not rocket scientists!" Jason said innocently.

"We on the other hand, are rocket scientists!" added Marcus.

* * *

Obviously, you must have noticed something odd about this story...everyone BUT Calvin can see Hobbes! Yes, it's blasphamasy, but this is supposed to be Snoopy writing it. It's fiction within fiction, and not to be taken seriously. Irony, man...irony. Also, it's fun to have a swarm of little Quincy's. 


	2. The New Toy

"News will come in a few minutes..." Hobbes told the toys.

Jason and Marcus zoomed through the halls, singing all the way:

_**Secret agent man**_

_**Secret agent man...**_

Jason looked up. "Look out! Stairs ahead!"

"Uh-oh." They crashed down the stairs. Startled, the Quincy's scattered in different directions.

"Guys!" called Jason. "Come back!"

Marcus sighed. "So much for the mission."

Jason checked to see if their huge monitor was secure. "As long as the baby monitor's okay, we're fine."

"Do you hear something?" listened Marcus.

"Yeah, it's..."

They both looked up to see a huge kid stomping towards them. "CALVIN!" They ducked into a potted plant as Calvin ran through. He accidently stepped on a lone Quincy that didn't escape in time.

Calvin picked up the crushed toy. "Huh? Where'd he come from? Oh well." He tossed it away. As soon as Calvin disappeared, Jason and Marcus recovered the squashed Quincy.

"Quincy #31!" cried Jason. "The poor little guy..."

Marcus jumped into a potted plant, which would serve as their hiding place. "He's still alive, don't worry. A little glue will help him out. Now let's set up the monitor. They're getting out the presents."

Back in the bedroom, everyone was worrying a bit.

"Oh dear!" paced Edd. "Why haven't they reported anything!"

Lucy glared at Hobbes. "Nice plan, tiger."

"Please," said Linus, "I have faith in Hobbes."

"So do I!" added Snoopy.

"Thank you," smiled Hobbes, "I appreciate that. Besides, all of you know how tough the stairs are on toys. We'll have a report in no time."

The monitor crackled to life. "Can you read us?" said Jason.

"We sure can!" said Hobbes.

"He's opening the first one!" Marcus said nervously. There was a long pause. "It's...blankets."

"Who invited that kid?" complained Eddy.

"Well, this is a nice surprise," smiled Linus.

Time flew by. Soon they were up to the last present. "Here's the last one...it's...a board game! Candyland!"

The toys cheered. "We're alive!" cried Snoopy.

Hobbes sighed calmly. "See, there's nothing to worry about."

The monitor suddenly flared again. "Wait!" cried Jason. "Don't turn off the power! Calvin's mom has pulled out a surprise present!"

"Curses!" moaned Edd. "This can't be good!"

"Some kid's in the way!" said Marcus. "I can't see what it is! It's a...a..."

"I cannot handle the pain!" yelled Ed. Ed rammed his head against the baby monitor, knocking out the batteries.

"Nice going, lumpy!" groaned Eddy.

Ed smiled absentmindedly. "My head feels better."

The toys all scrambled around, trying to put the batteries back in. Hobbes stayed up on the bed, trying to restore order. "Keep calm! Keep calm!"

"Put 'em in!" screeched Eddy, struggling with the batteries.

Kevin grabbed them himself. "Dork, they're the wrong way!"

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Edd managed to put the batteries back in a second.

Jason's voice was heard again on the monitor. "Calvin's coming upstairs! RUN!"

The toys all hid, or fell limply to the ground. Hobbes stayed on the bed. Calvin burst in and shoved a toy on the bed, accidently knocking Hobbes off. "Wow!" cried the boy. "This is so cool!"

Calvin ran downstairs again. The toys come out. "I am in awe," said Ed.

"Indeed," agreed Edd.

"Did anyone see what the new toy is?" asked Charlie Brown.

Hobbes crawled out from under the bed where he was knocked. "I missed it."

"Like, why are you on the floor?" asked Nazz.

Eddy ran over. "I'll tell you why he's on the floor! He was pushed off! By Calvin! So much for being the kid's favorite!"

Hobbes dusted himself off. "I'm sure Calvin still likes me," he defeneded. "He was just excited."

Snoopy looked up nervously. "He must have a good toy to be that excited..."

Hobbes shrugged. "The poor toy might be a little scared, you know. A new house and new friends and everything. I'll go up and talk to it, you know, give it a nice 'Calvin's Room' welcome."

Hobbes climbed up on the bed and found an action figure of an odd man in overalls with a mustache. Mario the plumber. "What sort of weird land is this?" the new toy was saying to himself.

Hobbes jumped out. "Hello!"

"AAAHHH! KOOPA!"

Hobbes backed up. "No! No! Just a tiger."

"AAAHHH! TIGER! Prepare to meet thy doom!" Mario held up a toy fire flower, which did nothing but make weird noises.

"Calm down..." said Hobbes, "it's cool."

Mario put down the flower. "Oh...sorry I freaked out on you. Where am I?"

"Calvin's room. I'm Hobbes, the general leader."

"I'm Super Mario!"

The other toys climbed onto the bed. "Super Mario?" repeated Edd.

Eddy laughed. "Heh, Hobbes ain't super."

"Be quiet, Eddy. I'm Nazz, Mr. Mario."

Mario was impressed. "Mama mia! Just look at everyone! I guess I'll explain myself. I grew up in Brooklyn with my brother Luigi. Using a warp pipe we found in the sewers, we found the magical Mushroom Kingdom, which I'm trying to protect from the evil Bowser Koopa!"

Ed jumped in front of him. "I am monster Ed! Roar!"

"DIE!" Mario started pressing a button on his fire flower which made video game sound effects. Nothing happened.

Edd nervously pulled his friends away. "Oh, don't mind Ed. Lovable oaf. I'm Edd with two d's, so everyone calls me Double D. There's Eddy, Snoopy, Kevin, Charlie Brown, Schroder, Sally, Linus, Lucy, and I'm sure you already know Hobbes."

"Nice flower thing," commented Snoopy.

"It's a fire flower," Mario said proudly, "a dangerous weapon."

"I don't see Hobbes with one of those," remarked Eddy.

"Please," Hobbes said defensively. "I'm...scary enough! I'm a tiger, after all."

"A fluffy cute one," said Eddy.

"This ain't a shabby-looking guy," Kevin said, looking at Mario.

"A button I see!" Ed pressed a button on Mario's back. A voicebox inside Mario said "It's a-me!"

"Nice!" said Eddy. "Hobbes doesn't have that either!"

Nazz glared at him. "Eddy, I said leave him alone!"

"Fine..."

Hobbes shrugged. "Besides, I...don't have a voice so Calvin can use his imagination!"

Mario strolled around the bed. "Well, I guess I'll stay here until I find a warp pipe. Any mushroom houses around here? A P-Wing could really help."

They heard laughter. Everyone rushed to the window to see a large boy next door in his yard.

Hobbes gasped. "Oh, great...Moe."

"Horrors!" moaned Edd. "I thought he was away!"

"That happy child?" asked Mario.

"Happy?" yelled Eddy. "He's insane! He tortures toys for fun! Who's the victim this time?"

Hobbes looked down to see a poor toy strapped to a rocket. "Oh no...it's a Wilfred the Pig doll."

Wilfred was blown up seconds later. Everyone shuddered. "If I ever meet that boy, I'll show him a thing or two!" said Mario. "With a few stomps, he'll be..." The toys all listened to Mario as Hobbes and Nazz walked away.

"He's pretty funny," smiled Nazz.

Hobbes looked away. "Yeah...I guess."

"Don't listen to what Eddy says. You're still Calvin's favorite."

"You're right. I remember how popular Double D was when he first arrived. I'm sure things will die down and Mario will be a normal happy friendly member of our family. I wish he'd stop pretending he was real, though."

* * *

The scene where Moe blows up a toy was sort of tough, mainly because I didn't know who to sacrifice. Finally, I settled on one of Rolf's farm animals. 


	3. Strange Things Are Happening

But despite what Nazz had said, Hobbes noticed changes around Calvin's room. Suddenly Mario was defeating the "evil" Mr. Jones on his way to work. Mario drawings covered up drawings of Hobbes. Toys still flocked around Mario and listened to what he had to say at meetings, while Hobbes always had to get everyone's attention. What was worse, was that Mario still acted as if he was in a video game and spent a lot of time running around looking for "power ups." Calvin was suddenly taking Mario to bed with him, while Hobbes was stuck in a toy chest. Strange things were happening.

One day, Hobbes found Mario in the bathroom, messing around under the sink. He cautiously stepped towards the plumber. "Mario? What are you doing in here? We usually stay out of the bathroom."

"Stupid pipes!" grumbled Mario.

"Huh?"

"How am I supposed to fit in here and return to the Mushroom Kingdom?" complained Mario.

Hobbes stared at him. "Fit in? As in that 'warping' thing you're always talking about?"

"I need a wrench!"

Hobbes smiled. "Wait...you really think you're...HA!" He fell over laughing. "And here I thought it was all an act! Super Mario! The REAL Mario! This is great!"

"Are you okay? It sounds as if a Koopa zapped you."

"This is so funny it hurts!" Hobbes grabbed the toy fire flower and "fired" it at Mario. Mario screamed and ducked.

"What are you doing!" cried the bewildered toy. "You could have killed me! And why didn't my flower work? I didn't know these things could get jammed!"

Hobbes continued laughing. "The pain! It's too funny!"

Mario glared at him. "Are you mocking me?"

"Me? No. No...MARIO, LOOK! A PARATROOPA!"

"Where!"

Hobbes ran out. "I have to tell everyone! This is killing me!"

Mario chased Hobbes into Calvin's bedroom. Suddenly, Calvin walked in and they both collapsed onto the floor.

"Mushroom Pizza Kingdom!" cheered Calvin. "Mushroom Pizza Kingdom!"

The Mushroom Pizza Kingdom was the new Mario-themed restaurant. Calvin was allowed to take one toy there. Hobbes rolled his eyes, knowing that it would be Mario. Still, maybe there was a little bit of hope. Hobbes picked up a magic eight ball and asked it, "Will Calvin take me to Mushroom Pizza Kingdom?"

The reply: "Don't count on it." Hobbes threw the ball down in disgust. Wait...he started to plan. What if Mario got lost "accidently?"

Hobbes noticed a little remote control car version of Victor the goat sitting nearby. Mario was relaxing by a shelf. If Hobbes could get Victor to push Mario down the shelf so he was stuck for a few hours, then...

Hobbes grabbed the remote control and drove the car towards Mario. But then something unexpected happened. Mario dodged the car, which hit a bulletin board instead. It fell over, knocking down a globe of the world. The huge thing rolled at Mario, but then hit a desk lamp. The lamp swung into the super toy, knocking him out the window. "MAMA MIA!"

All the toys came running when they heard Mario fall. "What happened!" cried Edd.

Hobbes didn't know what to say. "He...fell."

Ed started to cry. "Our brave hero is gone! Woe is Ed!"

Eddy heard the goat-car making noises. "Hey, wait a second...I think Victor's trying to tell us something."

"I speak goat..." said Snoopy. "Victor says that Mario didn't just fall! He was pushed by Hobbes!"

Everyone turned to Hobbes, who backed away nervously. "Purely an accident," Hobbes stammered.

Jason started at him. "Doesn't sound like an accident!"

"Sounds like you wanted to!" said Eddy. "Sounds like we're all in trouble!"

Edd tried to maintain the peace. "Er, maybe if we simply worked this out with peer mediation...?

Lucy punched Edd. "Get the blockhead!"

"Wait till I get my hands on him!" yelled Eddy. Eddy took one of his arms out and threw it at Hobbes. It missed and flew out the window. "I lose more pieces that way."

Everyone sprung at Hobbes when Calvin walked in. The toys froze. "Where's Mario?" wondered Calvin. He sighed. "Well, I guess I'll take Hobbes."

All the toys glared at Hobbes as he left with Calvin.

Outside, Mario scrambled out of the bushes to see Calvin's car driving away...with Calvin in it! The plumber ran after it and managed to hitch a ride on the bumper. Hobbes was in for it!

* * *

Victor the goat as RC was admittedly a stupid idea. I wasn't sure what else to do, though, as I like having the fixed number of characters with the occasional new addition. 


	4. Mushroom Pizza Kingdom

Eventually, the car stopped at a gas station. The second Calvin and his mom got out, Mario climbed through the car's window. He found Hobbes pacing on the back seat.

"What have I done?" moaned Hobbes. "It doesn't matter if I took his place! I could tell how disappointed Calvin was when he had to take me instead of some hero! And now all the other toys hate me! What am I gonna..." he looked up. "Mario!"

Hobbes grabbed Mario in a deep embrace. "You're alive! That means I'm alive! We can go home, we'll say it was all an accident, 'cause it pretty much was, and then..."

Mario interrupted him. "Don't touch me." Surprised, Hobbes backed off. "You know," continued Mario, "I once had to spin Bowser around by his legs and hurl him into the distance. Let's see if I still remember it!"

Mario did the move on Hobbes, sending him flying out the window. He tried to stomp on Hobbes, but the tiger grabbed him. "You wanna fight!" growled Hobbes. "Well, here's a move that I use on Mr. Jones!"

Hobbes and Mario bounced around fighting as Calvin's car drove away. Hobbes looked up too late. "What...? NOOOO!" Hobbes ran after it, but was tackled by Mario again. "Get off of me!" hissed Hobbes. "Don't you realize that we're trapped here! I'M LOST! I'M A LOST TOY!"

"So we are. If I could find a Warp Whistle and play the right tune..."

"Forget the items!" exploded Hobbes.

Mario looked amused. "Please, this is no time to panic. I'm sure there's a mystery box behind something here."

Hobbes was frantic. "This is the perfect time to panic! I'm lost, Calvin is gone, they're going to move from their house in two days and it's all your fault!"

"You pushed me out the window!" exclaimed Mario.

"YOU pushed ME off of MY bed!" Hobbes shot back.

"Oh yeah? Well, all my mushroom friends are in trouble now!" Mario looked ominously to the stars. "Right now, somewhere in the Mushroom Kingdom, Bowser Koopa has once again kidnaped Princess Peach and plans to use her to take over. Only I and my brother Luigi can put a stop to it. And you, tiger, are the reason that I'm not there right now to aid him in battle."

Hobbes stared at him for a few seconds. "YOU ARE A TOY! You're not a video game hero! You're an action figure! A child's plaything!"

"You are a sad strange little furball and you have my pity."

Hobbes sighed and walked away. He saw a truck from Mushroom Pizza Kingdom. "That's where Calvin is! But I can't go back there without Mario! Hey! Mario! I...uh..." Hobbes saw a fake Warp Pipe on top of the truck that gave him an idea. "I found a warp pipe!"

Mario dashed over. "Finally! Let's go!" Mario climbed up the truck and into the warp pipe. "Hey...this doesn't go anywhere!"

"Right," Hobbes said, playing along. "We...have to go inside the truck...I mean pipe."

Mario hopped down. "Weird pipes around here. Well, if it works."

Mario and Hobbes climbed in the back of the truck. Mario looked around. "Wait a second! I grew up in Brooklyn! This is just a truck!"

Hobbes saw the driver getting in. "Relax. We'll warp right about..."

Blaring rock music started. The truck took off and Mario and Hobbes were plastered against the back of the truck.

"Now?" Mario said weakly.

"You guessed it."

Eventually, they stopped. Mario pulled himself down. "I'll stick to normal pipes from now on..."

They climbed out of the truck to see the Mushroom Pizza Kingdom restaurant in all its' glory. The exterior looked like Peach's Castle, with two animatronic Hammer Bros. guarding the door.

Mario's eyes lit up. "It worked! I'm home!"

Thinking of his owner, Hobbes pulled Mario towards the doors. "Soon we'll be at your real home. Let's find Calvin and..."

Mario jumped back. "Stop! You can't just waltz in while those two Hammer Bros. are there! I'll bet Bowser has the entire Kingdom crawling with Koopas!"

Hobbes thought about it and agreed (sort of). "Well, I guess we sure can't run in with all these people around...wait, I have an idea!"

Hobbes and Mario put on cups and burger containers and ran inside. "Ha!" laughed Mario. "That worked almost as good as the Tanooki Suits!"

They took off the disguises to see a massive arcade room full of classic Mario games. It was decorated like the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario was delighted. "I'm home! But everyone's huge! What if Bowser brought in everyone from Giant Land? I can't deal with them like this!"

"Uh...well, there's some items in Calvin's bag," lied Hobbes.

"Calvin? What's he doing here?"

"He's an amazing kid, I'll tell you that!" Hobbes said quickly. "Let's find them, jump in, and..."

"I have a better idea! Look at that!" Mario pointed at a huge claw machine that looked like a Mushroom House. "Mushroom Houses always supply items!" he exclaimed. "I can get a Super Mushroom AND see my buddy Toad again!" Mario jumped into the prize slot.

"You're not making this easy for me!" growled Hobbes. He crawled in after him to find Mario surrounded by identical mushroom dolls.

"Which one of you is Toad?" asked Mario.

"We are all Toad," the huge group said slowly in unison.

"Great," grumbled Mario. "Has Bowser brought back his cloning machine?"

"We know no Bowser," one of the mushrooms said. "We only know..."

"The Claw," they all said slowly. They pointed to a large claw hanging ominously above them. "It is our master. It chooses who will go and who will stay."

Hobbes sighed. "It's always the isolated ones who are crazy. I knew sheltering toys was a bad idea."

Hobbes heard deep laughing. It was Moe, who was apparently there. Hobbes shoved Mario under the mushrooms to avoid the bully.

"The claw..." repeated the mushrooms. "It moves..."

One little mushroom was plucked from the group and lifted upwards. "I have been chosen!"

Unfortunately, the removed mushroom revealed a hiding Hobbes and Mario. Moe quickly grabbed them in the claw, too. Hobbes soon found himself being held by the child he feared the most.

"C'mon, guys," said Moe. "Let's have some...fun."

* * *

It's sadly obvious that I got lazy at the end, making the claw scene less climactic. Also, I think Mario is too naive, seeing as his character grew up in Brooklyn and should recognize the real world. 


	5. Moe's House of Doom

Moe brought the three toys home in his backpack. Mario stuck his head out. "I see Calvin's land! I'm sure when we get there, I can..."

"Don't you get it!" hissed Hobbes. "We're not going to Calvin's land...I mean his house! Moe's got us now, and once we go inside, we won't come out! I'll never attack Mr. Jones again, never see Calvin's new house..."

The second Moe opened the door, his huge dog, Scud zoomed over, barking frantically. "Down, Scud!" said Moe. "I got something for you!" Moe tossed the little mushroom to the huge dog, who tore it up within seconds.

"Toad!" cried Mario. "Eaten by a Chain Chomp!"

Hobbes shook his head. "The poor guy. He never saw it coming.

"Hey, Susie!" Moe called to his sister. "Did I get my package in the mail?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, I don't know?" growled Moe.

Susie started to walk away. "Just leave me alone!"

Moe suddenly grabbed Susie's doll, Sarah. "Sarah looks sick!"

Moe ran up to his room, with Susie following him. "Let her go, Moe!"

"Better operate!"

"Leave me alone!" Susie was shoved out of Moe's room, and the door slammed shut. The bully leaned over the toy.

"Well, doctor Moe," Moe said to himself, "it appears we have a...aw, forget the act! I'm just gonna destroy stuff!" Moe started tearing the toy apart.

Mario nervously rocked back and fourth. "I am in Peach's bedroom...I am in Peach's bedroom...I am in Peach's bedroom..."

Hobbes was even more afraid, knowing what Moe was capable of. "I must scream, but I cannot."

Moe opened the door and handed Susie the doll. Susie stared at Sarah suspiciously. "She's...fine."

"Turns out she wasn't the sick one," shrugged Moe. He whipped out another of Susie's dolls. "Too bad about Jimmy!" Moe hands Susie a Jimmy doll with the head of Ludwig Von Koopa.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" shrieked Susie. She ran downstairs in terror. "MOMMM!"

Moe ran after her. "She's lying! Whatever she says, she's lying!"

Hobbes crawled out and looked around. The bedroom was full of random toy parts lying everywhere. A nightmare. "We're gonna die, Mario," Hobbes said, with little emotion. "We're both gonna die."

Mario bounced by. "Maybe I can find a 1-up mushroom."

"I've gotta get outta here!" Hobbes jumped for the doorknob, but couldn't reach. The windows were locked. As Hobbes passed by the bed, he noticed a shadow lurking inside. "Hey, Mario!" called Hobbes. "There are some more guys here! Come out! We're friends! Maybe we can get out of here!"

Slowly, the Koopalings crept out, each one shaking in fear. "We can't find..." started Lemmy Koopa.

"...a way out," finished Iggy.

"Eww," said Hobbes. "What did Moe do to you guys?"

"What's that supposed to mean!" yelled Wendy Koopa "We're normal!"

Hobbes smiled weakly. "Oops, sorry. I'm Hobbes the tiger from across the street."

"What have they done to my beautiful body!" squeaked Jimmy, looking at his Koopa shell.

"Well, we're all normal," said Larry Koopa, "aside from Ludwig and Jimmy, as you can see."

"I'm a wimp!" moaned Ludwig with Jimmy's body. "Look at these hands! No claws at all!"

"Wow, I'm sorry, guys," said Hobbes. "Maybe if we work together..."

Mario zoomed over, cutting the tiger off. "Hobbes! Get away from them! It's the dirty Koopalings!"

Roy was offended. "Dirty? Did he insult us?"

"You were always slow on the uptake!" Mario whipped out his fake fire flower. "Prepare to duel, you villains!"

"Villains!" screeched Morton. "We were planning on helping you! But if it's a fight, fray, battle, smackdown you want, then here it comes! Koopa pack! Attack!"

"That's Morton," Hobbes whispered to Mario, "but I call him 'Big Mouth.'"

"You're the big mouth!" glared Hobbes. He turned to the Koopalings, who were closing in. "You chose the wrong people to insult. I didn't think I could hate you any more than I already did, but..."

For once, Mario didn't know what to do. "Uh-uh-uh...there is a time where all heros must admit defeat and save and quit until he can get more weapons. RUN FOR IT!"

"Finally you figured it out!" They jumped behind a few boxes.

"We'll deal with you later!" called Jr as the Koopalings slunk back into the darkness.

"Yeah," added Morton, "and when we do, you're dead, killed, maimed, finished, gone, wiped out, destroyed..." his list went on.

Mario smiled. "See, that's why I call him 'Big Mouth.' I'd better get my fire flower ready."

"Kill 'em with sound effects," grumbled Hobbes. "Good thinking."

Morton, meanwhile, continued his list, as he had never stopped in the first place. "...kaput, ruined, outta here..."

Meanwhile, the toys at Calvin's house were still looking for Mario out the window. "I think that's him," said Edd. "Shine the flashlight over there, Schroder!"

A cat hissed. "It's just that cat next door!" groaned Snoopy.

A chain of Cojammer monkeys from a barrel climbed up into the bedroom. "Couldn't find Mario," said the lead moneky. "But we found Eddy's arm."

The head Cojammer pulled it away. "Ask me nicely and I may give it back...'course, you'll still have to pay."

"PAY!" yelled Eddy. "I'm the scammer around here!" Eddy chased the monkeys around.

"Hey, let's play moneky in the middle!" cried one of them, tossing the arm around. "Eddy's it!"

"I'll show you, ya little..."

"They're back!" announced Kevin.

Calvin sadly walked inside. "I can't believe I lost Hobbes..." he said, as he entered the house.

"Hobbes!" cried Snoopy and Nazz.

"Figures he ditched the kid when he knew we were waiting for him," said Jason, going back to the bucket where Calvin kept him.

Marcus followed. "There will be other traitors. Don't worry."

"I knew it!" grinned Eddy. "One point for me!"

"Only one?" Edd said sarcastically. "I assumed you would have given yourself more."

"You're right! Add more points!"

"Eddy rules!" said Ed.

Nazz looked into the sky and thought about Hobbes. "I hope he's okay..."

* * *

A few notes on this chapter...

Susie is not Moe's sister in the actual comic, but she is in this story. The fact that it's all Snoopy fiction gives me that right, along with putting in Scud from the original movie (I considered using Snoopy's brother Spike, but decided that would be stupid)

Another change is having the mutant toys be turned against the heros because of Mario's own stupidity, which I found amusing.

Finally, the cat nextdoor Snoopy mentions is not at Moe's house, but a different one. Just to let you know that Moe doesn't have a cat.


	6. Just a Toy

Hobbes woke up surprised when Moe dropped a huge stack of books on him. "Gonna talk?" laughed the bully. "I guess I'll just drop some more!" He continued crushing Hobbes until he lost interest and left the room. Hobbes angrily scrambled up and managed to push off the pile of books on top of him.

"That kid's nuts!" hissed Hobbes.

Mario bounced over, oblivious as ever. "I'm proud of you for not talking, Hobbes. A weaker man would have crumbled."

Hobbes shoved the last book off of himself and smacked Mario with it. "You idiot! He didn't really mean that! It's just one of his deranged psycho games he plays!"

"Still," said Mario, "I might not have held up if the Koopas were doing that stuff to me on one of my adventures."

"Thinking about us?" Led by Ludwig, the Koopalings suddenly crawled out from the room's many corners. In a few seconds, Hobbes and Mario were surrounded.

"Not them again!" groaned Hobbes. "This is still your fault, Mario."

Mario put up his fists in a weak fighting pose. "If we can hold off Moe, we can hold off them!"

The Koopalings all raised toy swords.

"Grab a weapon!" ordered Mario.

Hobbes picked up a toothpick, which broke. "Dang it."

"Fire flower time!" Whipping out his little accessory, Mario "shot" fireballs at the Koopas, who stared in confusion.

"Is he trying to mess with our minds or something?" stared Roy.

Iggy laughed evilly. "Ha! Not gonna work!"

"Our minds are messed up already!" agreed Lemmy.

Mario batted his fire flower against the ground, trying to get it to work. "I didn't know these things could jam..."

Hobbes noticed a button on Mario's back. "Hey, what's this do?" The tiger pressed it. Mario's fists suddenly shot out and punched Jr Koopa, sending him flying into the wall.

"How did you do that?" cried Mario in shock.

"Not now," Hobbes said quickly. "Fighting."

"Retreat!" screeched Wendy. Hobbes eventually beat all of the Koopas off and watched them flee in terror back to the dark shadows they came from.

Hobbes turned to Mario. "See?" he glared. "That's what happens when you make a bad first impression! Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta get out of here and home!"

Hobbes ran for it, but his path was easily blocked by Scud. "Not him again!" groaned Hobbes.

"Split up!" said Mario.

The two toys made a run for it. Hobbes tumbled down the stairs with Scud in hot pursuit. Trying to find something to aid his friend, Mario snuck into the living room, where a TV was playing.

"Mario!" cried Princess Peach. "Save me! Bowser's here!"

Mario whirled around in confusion. "Bowser! Where!" Mario looked up to see that Peach's voice came from a TV set. It was a commercial. A toy commercial.

"And now you can help Mario on his missions with your very own Mario toy!" yelled a loud announcer. "In fact, the world's greatest toy! Mama Mia!"

Mario gaped. "What?"

"With crazy swarming arms and a fire flower," continued the annocuner, "Mario is the best toy ever! EVER! Luigi and Toad sold separately."

Mario sadly left the room. Was Hobbes right? He wasn't really a great hero? What about all the great things he had done? Through an open window, a stray leaf blew in. Mario picked it up. "A racoon leaf," he said quietly.

Maybe Hobbes was wrong. With that in mind, Mario clutched the leaf and jumped off of the staircase railing. There was a crash. When Mario opened his eyes, he was lying on the floor missing one of his arms, which lay a few feet away. The defeated plumber looked down. "I will go sailing no more..."

* * *

The Jimmy doll from a previous chapter was not Jimmy Neutron, but Sarah's friend from Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy. The femminine one. A lot of laughs from that kid. I thinks some scenes here are a little rushed, but I'm having fun with the Koopalings being evil. However, I'm not sure how Mario's arm will get fixed now, since the Mutant Toys did it out of kindness in the original movie. I'll come up with something sinister. 


	7. Mario Goes Crazy and Stuff

Hobbes hid in a closet, tangled in Christmas lights. He had dashed in too quickly and was now stuck. "Well, at least I lost the dog. Now to get outta this mess." He scrambled out of the closet and ran down the hall. Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice.

"Wah-wah-WAHOO!" It was Mario!

"Really?" said another voice. "That is so interesting!"

Hobbes peeked into the room to see Mario dressed as a woman being served tea by Susie. "More tea, Mrs. Nesbit?" asked Susie.

"Thank you so a-much for a-playing my game!" said the prerecorded dialogue inside Mario.

"Here you go!"

Getting an idea, Hobbes imitated Susie's mom's voice. "Susie! I need you in the kitchen!"

Susie left the room and Hobbes ran in. "Wow, Moe's not the only crazy one in the family! Look at you!"

Mario suddenly sprang to life. "Gone!" he shrieked. "It's all go-o-one! All of it's gone. Bye-bye! Whoo-hoo! See ya!"

"Eww, how did your arm come off?"

Ignoring Hobbes, Mario continued. "One minute you're the savior of a hot girl with a high-pitched voice, the next thing you know, you're a cross-dressing pathetic doll taking shots of tea! Never again will I do the Mario! Those were the days!"

"Oh...kay," Hobbes said slowly. "I think you've had enough tea, Mario. Let's just get you out of here and back to the house where you're loved and accepted.

"Don't you get it! You see the hat? I am Mrs. Nesbit!" Mario threw back his head and laughed wildly. "Wah ha ha ha ha ha! HA!"

Mario slumped down on the table, his maniacal laughter dying down to a creepy little chuckle. Hobbes smacked him with the arm. Mario immediately sat up, this time acting normal. "You're right. I'm sorry."

They walked down the hall, Mario quietly continuing. "It's just that, it's kind of hard, that's all. I mean when you find out that you're a FAILURE!" He went back to his screaming. "AAAAAHHH! That's all I am! I can't even use a leaf right! Can't even fly out the window!"

Hobbes looked up. A lightbulb went off inside his head. "The window? That's it! Mario, you're a genius!" Hobbes grabbed the Christmas lights.

Meanwhile, in Calvin's house, Edd and Eddy sat by the window playing the new game of Candyland.

Eddy laughed. "Give it up, Double D! All I need is a purple space and I'll get to King Kandy! There's no way you can win!"

"Oh, curse my luck, getting lost in Lollipop woods!" grumbled Edd.

Eddy calmly grabbed another card. "Yep, in one card motion, I'll go straight to...PLUMPY! Dang it, it's one of those cards that sends you back to start!"

One of the Cojammer monkeys sat by them. "I told ya that you'd get that one. Pay up."

Eddy sighed and tossed Cojammer his shoes. "At least it's only my shoes..."

"Of course," pointed out the monkey, "these things double as your feet."

"WHAT! Now I gotta wobble everywhere!"

Cojammer stuck his tiny feet into the huge shoes. "Meanwhile, I'll be walking in style."

"Get back here!" Eddy rolled after Cojammer.

Edd sighed and put away the game. "There they go again. I suppose I win by default."

"I'll trade you these for something!" Cojammer pulled off Eddy's nose. "Got your nose! Get it?"

"Guys! Guys!" Everyone turned to see Hobbes calling from the window across the street.

"It's Hobbes!" cried Charlie Brown.

Linus ran to the window. "Hobbes? It's a miracle!"

Nazz followed. "Dude! How did you get over there?"

"I knew he'd be back!" cheered Snoopy.

"I'll explain it all once I'm safe," smiled Hobbes. "Catch, Snoopy!" Hobbes tossed Snoopy the Christmas lights.

"Got it!"

"Now just tie it onto something..." Hobbes instructed.

"I got a better idea," said Eddy, grabbing the lights away. "How about we don't!"

"Eddy!" cried everyone.

Eddy angrily swung the lights at everyone. "You morons! Did you forget about what he did to Mario? We can't let a nut back here!"

"Spoons, spoons, spoons," said Ed.

"See? One is enough!"

"No, seriously," Hobbes said, a little nervously, "Mario is right here with me!"

"Prove it," glared Eddy.

Hobbes turned to his friend. "Mario, come on up here and just show everyone you're not dead. Mario. Mario! Give me a hand!" Mario threw his arm at Hobbes. The annoyed tiger picked it up. "Witty."

Hobbes ran back to the others and tried to hold the arm mostly out of view, to hide the fact that Mario wasn't there. "Wow, Hobbes!" Hobbes said in Mario's voice. "I a-love you! Let's go stomp some Koopas!"

"What?" said Eddy.

"Well, sure Mario!" Hobbes grinned as himself. "I love you too! Let's do our new secret best friends handshake! WOO!"

"See?" whispered Nazz. "I told you they'd be friends!"

"Indeed," Edd said suspiciously. "Although it seems a bit too friendly."

Hobbes wrapped the arm around him. "Now give me a hug!" he said as Mario.

"I'm not buying this!" said Eddy. "What's really going on?"

"Nothing." Hobbes accidently revealed that there was only one hand. The toys gasped in horror.

Edd ran away. "I feel ill! I feel ill!"

The Cojammer monkey threw Eddy's shoes back. "I suddenly feel bad for stealing Eddy's feet."

Ed fell off the desk. "Not my happy place, Eddy! Not my happy place!"

"How the mighty have fallen..." sighed Linus.

Eddy dropped the lights, leaving Hobbes alone. "Have fun in hell, Hobbes!"

"No!" cried Hobbes. "Guys! Please! Please!" Snoopy sadly closed the blinds.

Hobbes looked away. His friends hated him, he was stuck, Mario was crazy just as they were getting a little closer, Calvin was leaving, Moe had plans, the Koopalings were hiding somewhere...

Just as Hobbes thought of the horrid Koopas, he was suddenly knocked over by Roy. The Koopa grabbed the arm away and threw it down to the other Koopalings, who had surrounded Mario. They swarmed all over him. Hobbes rushed in to stop them, but by the time he got there, he saw that they had only put the arm back.

"If we're gonna kill you," said Ludwig, "you might as well be up to fight!"

"Don't close both eyes at night, boys," hissed Wendy. The Koopalings swarmed away.

"Well," Hobbes said quietly, "at least you're fixed...I haven't got a friend in the world and it's all my fault! AAAAHHHHH!"

Hobbes peeked out to see Ludwig and Jimmy in the distance, being repaired by the other Koopas.

"Finally!" Jimmy cried happily. "My small body is back!"

"Remember," said Ludwig, "our deal was that you would help us in our mission to destroy the new ones."

"We're in!" smiled Sarah.

Hobbes looked up. "Why me?" Suddenly, he heard Moe stomping up the stairs. Hobbes jumped into a milk carton, hoping to avoid the huge bully. He looked out to find that Mario was still lying there. "Mario! Run!"

Mario did nothing. "That's what I call depression," said Hobbes.

Moe suddenly burst in, holding a huge box. "It's here! It's here! The big one!" He pulled out a rocket. "'Extremely dangerous. Keep out of reach of children,'" he read on the side. "Cool. Now what do I blow up with it? I know! That stupid tiger!"

Moe picked up the milk carton, but Hobbes was hiding under it out of the bully's sight. "Dang," grumbled Moe, throwing it away. "I know! I'll warp Mario out of this world!"

Moe strapped Mario to the rocket. Suddenly, it started to storm outside. "NO! Well, I guess I can launch him tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Mario. Heh heh..."

* * *

Changing Battleship to Candyland left me to make a few fun changes to the script. Oh, and the Cojammer monkeys are from the game Ghostmaster and previously appeared in my fic with the same name. 


	8. Revenge of the Toys

Calvin laid in his bed, gazing sadly at the ceiling. He missed Hobbes and Mario. Finally, he fell asleep. Ed burst out of a nearby box where he and the others were packed. "I am an elephant!"

"Well, stop eating the packing peanuts!" snapped Eddy. "Anyone wanna switch moving partners?"

Cojammer grabbed one of Eddy's arms. "I'll trade you him for an arm! HA!" Eddy growled and dove in after the monkey.

Nazz peeked out and sighed. "Oh, Hobbes, if only you could see how much Calvin misses you..."

In Moe's room, Hobbes sat, still trapped under the carton. "Hey...Mario!" he whispered to the toy. "Come on! Help me out of here and I'll help you!"

"I can't help anyone," sighed Mario.

"Don't go all crazy on me again," hissed Hobbes. "If Moe doesn't get us, the Koopalings will! We have to get to Calvin's house!"

"Moe's house...Calvin's house...what's the difference?"

Hobbes stared in shock. "Man, that fall must have really messed up your thinking."

"No. It helped me think clearly. You were right. I'm not really a hero. I'm just a toy. A stupid toy."

"What are you talking about!" cried Hobbes. "Being a toy is a lot better than being a hero!"

Mario rolled his eyes. "Sure."

"No, really!" insisted Hobbes. "The toys over there and Calvin don't love you because of all the mushrooms that you've saved, it's because you're a cool toy! Calvin loves you because you're HIS toy!"

"Why would he want me? I can't even fly."

"Hardly any toys can do that! But you have that fire flower, a voice, and punching action! I'm...just a stuffed tiger. I don't have a chance against you...but still...through it all, we've gotten a lot closer without realizing it. I hate to admit it, Mario, but you've got a friend in me."

Mario looked up. "What?"

"You heard me. Now just get out of here while you still can."

Mario suddenly jumped up and helped get the carton off of Hobbes. "Come on, tiger! There's a kid out there who needs us!"

Once the box was thrown off, they looked out the window to see a moving van parked in front of Calvin's house. They would have to hurry. Suddenly, Moe's alarm went off. The bully grabbed Mario and ran out of the room. "Oh boy! Liftoff time!"

Hobbes ran after them, but was blocked by an angry Scud standing in the doorway. The tiger quickly shut the door and collapsed. "Now what do I do?"

Hideous laughter rang out. Hobbes looked up to see the Koopalings crawling out of the shadows, yet again, holding their wands. Although the wands were just toys, they could certainly do some damage clubbing the toy. Sarah and Jimmy joined them.

"Well, your rude friend is being dealt with," said Ludwig, "so we'll take care of you!"

Hobbes quickly opened the door, but slammed it shut when he saw that Scud was on the other side. He had to deal with the Koopas himself. "Wait! Wait! Look, guys, Mario was an idiot to you, but that's no reason to try to kill me! I mean, that's major sensitivity."

"But he called Wendy fat!" cried Iggy.

"He never called me fat..." said Wendy.

Lemmy smiled. "Oh yeah. That was us." Wendy tackled them and began beating the crap out of her brothers.

"See?" shrugged Hobbes. "And besides, when you were against us, you all got together to defend yourselves. Well, now he's in trouble and we have to get together ourselves! I don't know how I can convince you, but..."

"No," said Larry. "You're right. Let's save that plumber!"

"But we don't even have a plan!" reminded Jr.

"Actually, I have a plan," said Hobbes. "Now, we're going to have to break a few rules, but if it works, it'll help everybody..."

Moe sat outside, building a launching area. Mario watched at sighed. This kid was demented, but he was sure putting a lot of work into torturing someone!

Hobbes, Sarah, Jimmy, and the Koopas had soon formed a plan. The first part relied on Iggy and Lemmy, to give the signal. This required them to sneak through the house's vents. "We won't let you down!" saluted Iggy and they scampered inside.

"**_Secret agent man, secret agent man!_**" the two sang as they vanished around a corner.

"Deja vu," said Hobbes.

The two Koopas crawled through the vents and ended up emerging by the door. They now had to somehow hit the doorbell.

"How do we give them the signal?" wondered Iggy.

"A sacrifice," Lemmy said dramatically. "One of us has to throw our wand and hit the doorbell."

"Or I could just do this." Iggy threw Lemmy across, who hit the doorbell.

"WOO!" cheered the Koopa. "What a ride!"

Hearing the doorbell, Hobbes, Sarah, and Jimmy jumped onto a toy car. "There's the signal!"

The three raced down the hall. Scud saw them and chased the car. Susie answered the door, which the toys quickly zoomed out. Seeing no one, Susie started to close the door when she was suddenly plowed down by Scud, chasing the toys.

"Scud!" Susie slammed the door. "Stay out there, you stupid dog!"

As soon as Susie's back was turned, the other toys rode down the staircase and out the back door. They found themselves in the yard, watching Moe preparing to launch Hobbes. "Just gotta grab the matches and..."

Hobbes suddenly threw himself out of the bushes, making a loud thump behind Moe. The bully turned around. "Hey, there's that stupid tiger! I'll have a barbecue with you later." Moe tied the tiger's tail around a match and put him on the grill. He then went back to launching Mario. "Okay, launching in 10...9...8...aw, this is taking too long. 1!"

Moe was about to light the rocket when Hobbes growled like a tiger. "Huh?" Moe turned around in confusion. Hobbes growled again. Moe picked up the tiger. "I didn't know it was a talking toy." Hobbes growled yet again. Moe started to put the toy down. "It just growls. Cheap."

"Who are you calling cheap?" said a voice. It was Hobbes's, but the toy's lips didn't move.

Moe picked him up again. "What!"

"That's right," continued Hobbes's voice. "I'm talking to YOU, Moe. We don't like being blown up, Moe, or smashed, or ripped apart..."

"WE!"

"Yes, we! We're your toys, Moe."

Covered in mud, the Koopalings, Sarah, Jimmy, and many other mutated toys crawled out from everywhere, some burrowing out of the ground. Even the remains of Wilfred the pig were there.

Moe gasped in horror as the toys surrounded him. "From now on, you must take good care of your toys," said Hobbes's voice. "Because if you don't, we'll find out, Sid. We toys can see everything." Suddenly, the tiger's face came to life and hissed one final message to Moe: "So play nice!"

Moe dropped Hobbes. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" The bully ran screaming into the house as the toys cheered victoriously.

As Moe headed inside, he bumped into Susie holding a stuffed bunny. "THE TOYS! THEY'RE ALIVE! KEEP THAT THING AWAY!"

Susie smiled and chased Moe upstairs. "What's wrong, Moe? Don't you want to play with Mr. Bun?"

Mario hopped down from the launching pad and shook hands with Hobbes.

"Thanks," Mario turned to the other toys. "Thank you, everyone."

"Hey, man, we're sorry about the whole trying to kill you thing," said Morton. "Really! We're pals, chums, buddies now! We'll keep Moe in line! We'll crawl on him as he sleeps! With him all paranoid, you've given US a toy! We're eternally greatful, happy, thankful! We're totally..."

Hobbes turned around to see the van starting to pull out. He cut Morton off, and ran with Mario. "Sorry, gotta catch a moving van! Thanks again!"

* * *

I hate to rely on the original script of a movie for a parody, but the two major scenes (Mario and Hobbes talking and the scene where the toys attack Moe) are perfect the way they are. 


	9. Chasing the Moving Truck

Unfortunately, they reached the driveway too late. The van and the moving truck were already driving away. Hobbes and Mario just managed to reach the truck when Scud barreled out, and chomped down on Mario. Hobbes watched in horror as the dog headed off with his best friend. "Take care of Calvin for me!" called Mario.

Hobbes wouldn't let it end for Mario! The tiger jumped onto the dog and scratched him, which didn't do much, as Hobbes was stuffed. Scud shook Hobbes off and ran away, still holding Mario.

However, Hobbes managed to catch onto the moving truck and climb inside. Thinking fast, he opened a box marked "Calvin's Toys" to find Cojammer smacking Eddy with his own arm. "Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!"

Ed looked up to see Hobbes. "Eye of the tiger!"

"Hobbes!" cried Edd.

"How did you get here?" asked Snoopy.

Hobbes ignored them and grabbed RC, the remote control car. He tossed him out onto the road and steered him towards Mario. The others were horrified, not realizing what he was doing.

"He's doing it again!" yelled Sally. "Stop him!"

Ed rushed for Hobbes. "Pink belly!" Ed picks up the tiger and smashed him onto the ground.

Hobbes sprang back up and continued controlling RC. "No, I have to..."

"Take this, blockhead!" Lucy threw a stream of blocks at Hobbes.

Hobbes struggled to continue controlling the car. "Ow! Wait a second, guys!"

Linus snuck up behind him. "Speak softly and carry a blanket!" Linus whipped Hobbes with his blanket, sending the tiger flying onto the road.

"Victory!" cheered Hobbes.

As they disappeared down the road, Hobbes heard Cojammer say, "Give me a high-five!"

"I can't!" argued Eddy. "You have my arms!"

"Oh yeah. Gotta improvise." The sound a slap followed, implying that the monkey had hit Eddy yet again.

Hobbes lay on the road in defeat. However, the remote control had done some good, for Mario and RC were zooming straight for him...being followed by a vicious Scud.

"Well, at least I did something right," said Hobbes as the car picked him up. Scud continued chasing. Hobbes made a sharp turn, throwing the dog off. Scud ended up landing in a large intersection, causing a buildup and four-way traffic jam.

"Great job, Hobbes!" congratulated Mario.

"Just be sure to tell the others that we're friends when we get back to them."

Hobbes switched the control to "turbo" and speed up. Back in the truck, everyone was cheering, thinking they had gotten rid of a villain.

Johnny suddenly held Plank to his ear. "What's that, Plank? ... Hey, guys! Plank says that Hobbes was trying to save Mario with RC!"

Nazz looked up hopefully. "What?"

"Yeah, and he sees them coming down the road!"

"He's right!" squinted Nazz. "Here they come!"

"Oh, what have we done?" cried Edd in guilt.

"Ed, get the ramp!" ordered Nazz.

"A ramp I shall get!" Instead of lowering the ramp like Nazz meant, Ed ripped the ramp off and happily handed it to her. "Do you want me to frame it?"

Snoopy sighed. "Don't worry, this author will handle things. Grab onto my tail!"

"I would if I had ARMS!" shouted Eddy.

Cojammer reluctantly tossed Eddy his missing parts. "In times of great struggle, I shall donate these limbs."

With his arms back, Eddy, Kevin, and Charlie Brown grabbed Snoopy's tail. Reaching the toy, Hobbes grabbed his paws. "Speed it up, Mario!"

"I can't! The batteries are dying!" RC came to a halt, sending Snoopy painfully flying back into the truck. "They're dead," said the plumber.

Hobbes looked up in anguish. "Great."

Suddenly, Mario had an idea. "What about that match tied to your tail? We can light the rocket!"

Hobbes struck the match, blasting them off. "Great idea!"

"I owe you!" said Mario as they soared through the air.

"No, I owe you," argued Hobbes playfully.

"No, I owe YOU."

"No, I owe...wait a second. I just lit a rocket. ROCKETS EXPLODE!"

"Not today!" Mario used his small slightly sharp fingers to cut and shake off the tape just in time. The rocket exploded as they fell downwards.

"Well, maybe a splattering death will be better," sighed Hobbes as they fell closer to the road.

Mario saw a fluttering leaf. While grabbing it, he bounced off of some telephone wires. "We're flying!" cheered Hobbes. "Was it the leaf?"

"No, we're just a pair of lost toys about to be found!" grinned Mario. They continued flying through the air until they reached the moving truck. Hobbes let go of RC, dropping him inside. It hit Eddy, scatting his pieces.

"Hey, we missed the truck!" exclaimed Hobbes.

"We're not aiming for that!" They fell towards Calvin's van's roof window. "Thank you so a-much for a-playing my game!" said Mario's pre-recorded voice as they landed in a box next to Calvin.

The boy looked inside happily. "Hobbes! Mario!" The toys smiled at each other.

* * *

Since people are wondering, Cojammer is an implike monkey ghost who appeared in the video game "Ghostmaster" and my fic with the same name. Someone suggested I leave him around camp in the later stories. I don't think he'll ever become a regular, but it's fun to throw him and the other ghosts in occasionally. I never realized he and Eddy would make such a funny duo! 


	10. Epilogue

Snow fell on Christmas morning in Calvin's new house. Jason and Marcus camped out in the tree. "I wish we could live in here," said Jason, resting on a reindeer ointment. "It's so tinsel-y.:

"Yeah, but I'd keep bumping into ointments and we'd lose all of the Quincy's in the pine needles," Marcus pointed out.

Jason looked up when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. "Hey, look! Calvin's coming downstairs! He'll be opening these babies within seconds!"

Up in Calvin's new bedroom, the toys eagerly listened. "I will be a good boy this time, Eddy," smiled Ed.

"I know you will. And just to be sure..." Eddy grinned, as he finished tying Ed to a toy chair. "There! Now we won't have any problems with the baby monitor!"

Hobbes, Mario, and Nazz sit nearby on Calvin's bed. "This has turned out to be a good house," said Mario.

"Probably nicer than the other planets you've been to," joked Hobbes.

"Hey!"

Nazz laughed. "Relax, guys, it's Christmas!"

Eddy was walking away when Cojammer dropped down and stole his eyes. "I love Christmas pranks!" cackled the monkey.

"Get back here!" Eddy blindly ran into the table holding up the monitor, knocking it off. The batteries came out yet again.

"Just look what you did!" Cojammer stuck Eddy's eyes back in. "DORK!" he and Kevin chorused.

Edd sighed and put the batteries back in. "Some things never change, I suppose." He looked up to see Mario and Hobbes together. "But, then again, some things do."

"Is it normal to feel nervous during these gatherings?" asked Mario.

"Yeah," said Hobbes, "but don't be scared. What could Calvin possibly get that's worse than you?"

"Wow!" cried Calvin's voice from the baby monitor. "A Luigi action figure!"

Hobbes and Mario rolled their eyes. Everyone turned to Snoopy. "Did you expect a puppy?" asked the beagle. "What kind of writer do you think I am! That's all, folks!"

* * *

There you have it. Just to remind everyone, this is all Snoopy's work of fiction. I actually found it a little annoying to write, as it kept getting to close to the original script. Still, it had its' moments. 


End file.
